One day, Pi(e) died. He came to the gates of heaven, and St. Peter said, "What are you thinking? God hasn't existed since we went out of business during the Intergalactical Depression!" So Pi(e) decided to go back to Earth as an impersonation of J.W. Goethe. Bob was there, too. Bob, however, died before he could warn everyone.
(Yes, I get the joke)
(WOW. I made the depression thing up 100%! And now Cosman tells me someone made that one up already ... Fools seldom differ.)
So Pi(e) went back to earth and started reciting poetry to Cosman. Cosman thought Pi(e) was going insane, so he gave him medicine. Suddenly, Pi(e) saw colorful fractals. His brain started working again, and he realized he was looking at his avatar in NP. He drifted off to sleep once again. He saw more, different fractals. "Incense and Peppermints" was playing in the background. After zooming in for a while, Pi(e) realized that he was just seeing the Mandelbrot Set. He saw a seahorse and thought that he must be underwater. So he floated on the waves for an hour until being caught by an illegal whaling ship off the Oregon coast. It happened to be another fractal. Pi(e) remained unconscious.
After a while, he went to Cosman246, and asked, "What was that?!"
Cosman answered "Hmm.....Lol Space Dren Medicine to cure depression. Why do you ask?"
Horrified, Pi(e) asked, "Did it mention any side effects?"
Cosman answered "Only mild hallucinogenic effects."
Pi(e) realized what had happened.
Er...I totally thought that this was the Randomness thread. Something happened. There. And then, when he realized that it was not a whaling ship at all and saw Cosman and AwesomeGuy catch him and tie him up, Pi(e) realized he was fully conscious. They sailed to ... Tahiti.
Cosman and awesomeguy demanded the money from Pi(e). Pi(e) said, "What money?" so Cosman took Pi(e) to the roof of a MSFT building in Redmond and said he would throw him off the roof if he didn't give him and awesomeguy the money. Then he woke up, still on the ship. It was not like the ship he remembered, however. He bonked his head and suddenly he saw his companions......tied up! What had happened? He looked around, and realized he was also tied up. Then he saw the name of the ship-the S.S./b/
And at the helm of the ship...
It was none other than...
dun dun dunnnn....
They were in the brig - so they would be able to come up with an escape plan without the 4channers finding out, as there were no guards in the brig. eofpi and Cosman debated their two ideas of escape plans, when Deckmaster tried to come up with a compromise. Cosman wanted a sneak attack on Pedobear, while eofpi wanted a "Tora!Tora!Tora!" plan.
Excuse me, when did I stop controlling myself?
I'm wondering the same thing.
I think that eofpi and Deckmaster decided to use super ray guns to roast Cosman for his presumed control, however, it is impossible for me to read eofpi's mind. Are his intentions synonymous?
I was going to just knock over the fourth wall and run for the nearest exit, but I like your idea better. Let's do that.
Oo!! We can do both!
"Listen, at this point, this is metafiction" thought Cosman as the imaginary eofpi and Deckmaster were plotting to kill him in his dream. He woke up, in the same place he was when he started dreaming: the brig with all of the other NPers, who had overheard his dream.
This is a spacious brig. Nice amenities.
Wait...I think that that's a hologram of me over there. Yeah...seems it. Might be a hologram of eofpi too, might want to ask him.
We tested it, everyone here is real.
Nope, that's my Sufficiently Advanced Stand-In. The real eofpi is on sick leave. ....until Pedobear found him and put him in the brig along with his doppelganger.
This ended up being a ploy set up by Deckmaster who used two extras to play that scene while he talked with eofpi about how to end this charade once and for all.
....thought the asleep Cosman.
But lo! A creaking step is quivering the boards in which they lay, sweating and quivering. A dark figure appears, a wooden leg knocking on the ship. He wears an eyepatch over the empty cavity of his left eye. Who is this cloaked figure? 'Tis the great Du' Deman, arisen from his deathly sleep, awoken by the growing anxiety of his motley crew.
(ship quaking and wailing in the background, a storm rolling in the distance...)
Du'Deman then proceeded to be caught, chained, and placed into the brig like the rest.
After a while, the NPers came up with a plan. It was to.... yodel an egregious euphony to Blake O'Hare for help, similar to the song of time from the Legend of Zelda.
But Blake was resigned to his fate, solving Rubik's cubes all the while they were stuck.
Cosman then formulated an idea. They should first try and distract the guards long enough to allow another team of NPers-Team B, if you will- to topple Pedobear as well as setting free Team C to attack the 4channers. After that, they would leave them on a deserted island somewhere in the Pacific.
Team A was composed of eofpi, HK-47, kirin, dantes-torment, and several other assorted NPers
The chains were apparently held together by Unsolved Rubiks cubes, which were used as locks.
I find it humorous that you continue to attempt to exert control over peers with free will. I wonder if you're still dreaming...
the Dark Hunter uses his stealth skills to break into the brig and free all but Cosman who is fast asleep dreaming about plausible escape attempts and controlling the other NPers in spite of their free will. Until Cosman woke up.....looking around, he saw a void. They never found his body. The Dark Hunter, however, was very skilled in the arts of summoning and summoned Cosman back to the fold for the members of Nerd Paradise knew his capabilities would be needed in the trials to come.
Unbeknownst to them, they were all being watched over by.... AWESOMEGUY!!! He had claimed the position of the Narrator, and now controls everyone in the story!!!
But then, Pi(e) turned out to be the person narrating the story in which awesomeguy was the narrator! However, nothing was advancing in that story, so Cosman246 (who was narrating the story that Pi(e)was narrating) decided to tell Pi(e) to come up with something quick or everyone would lose interest.
But it turns out that...
IT WAS ALL A FIGMENT OF BLAKE'S IMAGINATION!!!!!!!!!!
Blake woke up, wrote down this story, and attributed it to a random NPer, which happened to be Cosman246.
END OF CHAPTER