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Haha.

only one commet?

"An" octopi? Octopi is a plural.

But it isn't. Octopi is hypercorrection--it treats "octopus" as if it were a second-declension Latin noun.
The real plural of "octopus" is much more pretentious than that. Anyone can say octopi. No, the real plural of octopus is from Greek, and it is "octopodes".

Blech. I always hated third declension nouns.

3rd declension nouns were the fun ones.

Is this some strange utoπan humour?

Verbs seem a lot easier than nouns.

I prefer nouns, verbs have too many different possible endings that I need to memorize, and my brain doesn't have that much RAM.

"I'd like to see your octopodes, please."

Nah, doesn't have the same ring to it.

Use your hard drive, silly.

Yes, but maybe there isn't enough RAM to generate a response based on the stored info. Or maybe there isn't enough RAM to record it in the first place.

Yup, correct. I also have a very short attention span.

Which means short forum posts fit the bill for you! Perfect!